The Funniest Thing I've Ever Seen By Keith Rawlinson
Being
the somewhat warped individual that I am, and loving humor as I do, I
am always on the watch for funny things. When I experience
something particularly funny, I commit it to memory. As the years
go by, if I see something I consider to be even funnier, I sort of
replace the previous incident with the new one for the title of funniest
thing I've ever seen. Currently, the funniest thing I've ever
seen is something that happened clear back in college. Even
though that was quite a while back, I still haven't seen anything that
beats it. If I ever do see something funnier, I will commit it to
memory and consider the new story to be the funniest thing I've ever
seen. Below is my story of the funniest thing I've ever seen so
far. As long ago as it was that it occurred, it still sometimes
pops into my mind for no real reason and makes me laugh out loud.
One
day, back
when I was in Cleveland, Ohio at Cleveland State University earning my
degree to become a science teacher extraordinaire (which I
did, in fact, become!) I was sitting at the bottom of two very
steep hills which lined the walkway to one of the main classroom
buildings. It was a nice day, so a hundred or so
other students were out there as well. I chanced to look up
and beheld
a member of our CSU baseball team perched upon the top of one of
the hills. A rather stuck-up wretch he was. Anyway,
he was far too cool to walk around the hills and come in on the
sidewalk that we mere mortals were using; so, he decided to just
walk straight down the side of the hill. After his third,
or perhaps it was his fourth, step, both of his feet slipped out
from under him at the same time and he came rolling down
the hill. And, it was a steep and high hill to be sure.
Flail as he
might, he...just...kept...falling. Rolling, falling,
rolling, falling seemingly without end. His book-laden
backpack went flying in one direction, and his oh so precious CSU
baseball cap (a veritable diadem I'm sure) went
flying another. When he finally, mercifully, came to rest at
the bottom of the hill, he stood as quickly as he could,
retrieved his backpack and threw it back over his shoulder as
arrogantly as possible. He then, just as quickly, retrieved
his CSU baseball cap, perched it proudly back upon his head, then
struck a pose which made it quite obvious that he had somehow
managed
to delude himself into thinking that no one noticed. No one
noticed??? Yea right. There were a hundred kids sitting
out there. You took an unbelievably comical tumble down
a hill that I'm sure was much higher and much steeper than you
would have liked--A tumble that went on for so long that it
seemed as though time itself had slowed down--and none of us
noticed?
Make no mistake, oh glorious CSU baseball player, that I am
laughing even as I write this. So, my
better-than-the-rest-of-us friend, not only did people notice,
but one of those people is still
laughing at you all these years later. I do, however,
sincerely hope that the bruised limbs and the bruised ego have
since healed. I understand that, by now, you may have completely
forgotten about your little trek down the slopes of CSU, or perhaps
you have purposefully blotted the entire, esteem-shattering incident from your memory; but, it matters not since I do
still remember. Thank you, my dear CSU baseball player, for
making my time at Cleveland State University so memorable. I
laugh at you--I mock you--but I salute you.